


bang

by jhoom



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Miscommunication, Pining, Text Messages, Typos, excessive use of the word bang, general nonsense, oblivious!Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-22 10:17:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8282342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhoom/pseuds/jhoom
Summary: Where Dean and Cas are best friends and Cas makes fun of all of his typos when they text.





	

**Author's Note:**

> based on [this post](https://jhoomwrites.tumblr.com/post/151716821156/antigeorge-my-sense-of-humor-someone-sends-a): my sense of humor: someone sends a text to me with a typo and I only respond with the typo
> 
> thanks to [unforth-ninawaters](http://unforth-ninawaters.tumblr.com/), [sherlockkat](http://sherlockkat.tumblr.com/), and [destielforever67](http://destielforever67.tumblr.com/) for helping me come up with some extra typos to use ;)

**Dean (2:15 pm): hey should i get my mom the angle or the snowman card for xmas**

_Cas (2:26 pm): you should definitely get the angle one_

_Cas (2:26 pm): not as traditional of a choice, i will say_

_Cas (2:27 pm): but it’s very progressive of you to include angles in consideration_

_Cas (2:28 pm): which angles do they have?  acute?  obtuse?  personally i’m a fan of right angles but that’s a personal preference_

**Dean (2:32 pm): what?**

_Cas (2:33 pm): maybe you should just get the snowman_

 

 

* * *

 

 

_Cas (11:45 am): where you wanna meet for lunch?_

**Dean (12:01 pm): i was thinking the town centre**

_Cas (12:04 pm): the town centre?  wtf you british now or something?_

_Cas (12:07 pm): we going to get fish and chips at the centre?  wash it down with some new castle while we watch a game of ‘football’?_

**Dean (12:11 pm): … what do i need to do to get you to stop doing this**

_Cas (12:15 pm): start spelling stuff correctly_

**Dean (12:16 pm): duck**

**Dean (12:16 pm): *fuck**

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Cas (8:39 am): i picked up that pie for you, where do you want it_

**Dean (8:47 am): awesome - could you just leave it in the stove**

_Cas (8:49 am): yes.  yes i can._

**Dean (5:17 pm): … why is my pie under the stovetop**

_Cas (5:33 pm): you specifically said you wanted it in the stove_

_Cas (5:33 pm): strange choice, but i did my best to oblige_

**Dean (5:39 pm): i didn’t even know you could lift up the top part**

_Cas (5:42 pm): yeah i figured that, it’s fucking filthy under there_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Dean (9:48 pm): this guy keeps hitting on me and he is so not stubble**

**Dean (9:48 pm): *subtle**

**Dean (9:49 pm): dammit cas don’t you dare**

_Cas (9:53 pm): no no totally valid point i prefer my guys with stubble_

_Cas (9:54 pm): guys that are ‘not stubble’ you always have to worry if they can’t grow a beard_

_Cas (9:56 pm): and i refuse to date a guy who has more trouble growing a beard than i do_

**Dean (10:02 pm): i hate you**

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Dean (4:20 pm): hoe you going to ash’s party tomorrow?**

_Cas (4:26 pm): dean i am truly touched that you consider me one of your ‘hoes’_

_Cas (4:27 pm): and yes this hoe will be going to ash’s party_

_Cas (4:29 pm): and to answer the question i assume you meant to ask i’ll be getting an uber_

**Dean (4:51 pm): okay i deserved that one**

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Cas (8:02 pm): how’s the party_

**Dean (8:03 pm): good.  got a keg in the backyard**

**Dean (8:03 pm): where ru**

_Cas (8:05 pm): just got here_

**Dean (8:05 pm): okay well**

**Dean (8:05 pm): we should bang**

_Cas (8:15 pm): yes of course dean_

_Cas (8:17 pm): we should bang out on the couch or bang out playing some beer pong or bang out in the backyard if you prefer_

_Cas (8:18 pm): there are some pots and pans in the kitchen we could bang those around_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Dean stares at his phone in a mix between shock and horror.  It’d taken him all night to work up the courage to send that text and Cas… Cas thought…  His knuckles go white as he grips the phone in frustration, briefly considering breaking it in half.

Okay, so what’s Plan B?

He pockets his phone and abandons the porch.  Stepping into the house, he tries to figure out where Cas would most likely be.  He’s not in the kitchen or dining room, but he hears familiar laughter coming from the living room.  Dean steps over some spilled popcorn and finds Cas standing in front of the couch, reading from his phone to Sam, Charlie, and Jo.

Three guesses what he’s reading, and the first two don’t count.

Castiel finishes reading the last of their conversation, gummy smile wide and pleased as his eyes meet Dean’s.  If possible, his grin grows even wider as their friends join in on the joke.  Too bad the real joke’s how fucking horribly his attempt at picking up Cas was.

“Don’t worry Dean, we can _bang_ after I get a drink.”  He pats Dean on the shoulder as he walks out to the kitchen.  

It’s all he can do to sit down and not collapse in the spot Sam and Charlie make for him on the couch.  Numb, he more or less ignores them as his brain rattles off possibilities.

“A little on the nose there with that typo, eh Winchester?” Jo jokes.  She leans back in Ash’s big poofy armchair and watches him.  

“Ugggh,” he groans and buries his face in his hand.  “It wasn’t a typo.”

There’s silence for a second before Charlie asks, “Sorry, we couldn’t make that out through your man pain.  But it sounded like you said it wasn’t a typo.”

He flinches behind the cover of his hands before dropping them down and collapsing against the back of the couch.  “It wasn’t.”

The three exchange looks and raised eyebrows.  Sam hesitantly licks his lips.  “How many beers have you had?”

Dean gives a little half-shrug.  “Like… half of one?”

If he was surprised before, it’s nothing to Sam’s wide-eyed, jaw drop now.  “Holy shit, you’re seriously making a move on Cas.   _Finally._ ”

“Yeah lot of good it’s doing.”  He picks at a loose thread on his jeans before giving up on it.  “He thinks it was a fucking typo.”

“This is Cas we’re talking about here.  You gotta be blunt about these things.”

“Uh, to be fair,” Jo pipes up, “He did text him ‘we should bang.’  That’s pretty blunt.”

“And _lame_!”  Charlie shakes her head.  “All these years of heart eyes and that’s all you got?  What the hell, Winchester, I thought you had more game than this.”

“Yeah me too,” he grumbles to himself.  “What the hell do I do now?”

The trio looks at him in sympathy, but none of them want to step up.  They seem to have a silent game of chicken for all he can tell, if their intense staring at each other is anything to go by.  Sam pointedly takes a drink from his beer and Jo rolls her eyes dramatically.  Charlie huffs in annoyance before taking over.

Reaching over to grab his hand, she says softly, “This might sound like an out of the box idea, but maybe you could go talk to him.  In person.  And maybe not use the words ‘bang’ or ‘screw’ because even face to face I feel like Cas might not get that.”

“Good plan,” Sam agrees.  His relief at having someone else handle Dean’s emotional crisis is palpable, and Dean makes a mental note to switch the salt and sugar at his brother’s apartment for being so damn useless.

“Great plan.  One that he should put into effect _right now._ ”  Jo kicks the other two and points her chin over to Cas as he casually makes his way back to their little group.  

As soon as he arrives, Charlie jumps up and offers him her seat.  

“Uh, thank you?”  The space Charlie leaves him was barely enough room for her, but now that Cas is there, his thigh is pressed tightly next to Dean’s.  Dean gets caught up in appreciating the warmth.  He’s so distracted it takes him a second to realize Sam and Jo have stood up as well.

“We’re gonna go do that thing.”

“Yeah.  The thing.”

“Outside.”

“Have fun!”

And the three of them vamoosh like there’s no tomorrow, practically knocking over a lamp in their haste to escape.  Dean glares daggers at them the whole time, cursing them out in his head for the traitors they are.

“That was… odd.”

Dean’s attention snaps to Castiel and he regains some of his bearings.  Right.  Cas.  Him.  Potential ~~banging~~ sex.

(God he was never using the word bang again it was causing him too much trouble.)

“Yeah, those three are weirdos.  So uh, can I talk to you for a sec?”

Cas gives him a look.  “Isn’t that what we’re already doing?”

“You’re killing me here.”  The other man at least pretends to like contrite at that, and he gestures for Dean to continue.  “So uh, about that text-”

“Ah yes, do you still wanna ‘bang’ or-”

Dean reaches over and grabs Cas’ hands as he makes those damn air quotes he’s so fond of.  Instead of letting go, though, he keeps them there.  And if he rubs a thumb along Cas’ palm, who could blame him?  

“Cas, I uh… That wasn’t a typo or anything.  I was asking if you wanted to bang.  Like… have sex.”  He coughs awkwardly, and then decides to clarify.  “With uh… with me.”

“Oh.”  Castiel looks down as if just realizing their hands are still intertwined, then back up at Dean.  “I see.”

The silence drags out and a horrible thought occurs to Dean.  What if Cas _didn’t_ think it was a typo?  What if he knew what Dean meant the whole time and he was carefully sidestepping the issue to preserve their friendship?  Oh fuck fuck _fuck-_

“You mean like a one night stand?”  

He can’t get a read on what Cas is thinking, but he figures since he’s already putting his cards on the table, may as well put them all out there.  

“Uh, preferably not?  Like, a semi-permanent basis would kinda be nice?”

More silence.  Cas hasn’t pulled his hands away, which Dean considers a plus, but he hasn’t done much of anything else, either.  “I’m not sure I understand.  Do you…  Are you asking if I want to date you?”

“Maybe?”  

Cas’ fingers flinch and Dean tightens his grip, afraid he fucked something up or said the wrong thing.

“I mean, yes, definitely.  I want to date you.  Very very much so.  I’ve been half in love with you for like, five years or something.  But I’m open to anything.  Boyfriends.  Friends with benefits.  Just friends.  Seriously, what we have is good.  I like what we have.  It’s a very good thing to have.  And I’m seeing from your face that I’m babbling and that I should shut up and stop talking now, but the words are still coming and I can’t stop-”

Luckily he’s saved by Castiel leaning over and kissing him.  He somehow manages to get out a few more muffled words before his brain shuts off and his body takes over.  His lips have a mind of their own, mirror Cas’ perfectly.  He’s barely able to rein in control and keep things from getting more heated, but somehow he does and pulls away.

Not far though.  He’s still close enough to breathe in everything Cas, to make out every shade of blue in his eyes, and to be mesmerized by the way his mouth moves as he speaks.

“Boyfriends.”

Dazed, he frowns in confusion and looks up.  “Huh?”

“From your list.  Whether we can be friends or friends with benefits.  I pick boyfriends.”

“Oh thank _god_.”

He ducks back in for a quick peck on the lips.  Then, because he can, on the nose and forehead.  A guy could get used to this.  

When Castiel starts to get up, Dean wants to whine in protest.  But with their hands still connected, it’s easy for Cas to pull Dean up with him.  He lets go of one hand and starts dragging him towards the front door with the other.

“Whoa whoa whoa, where’s the fire?  Where we going?”

“You said we should bang.  I wanna bang.”

“Right now?”  

Castiel stops abruptly and rounds on Dean.  “ _Dean._  I have wanted to have sex with you since possibly the first moment I met you.  That is now a viable possibility and you expect me to wait longer than the drive to your apartment?”

“I mean… when you put it like that.”

The two basically jog to Dean’s car, hands clasped the whole time.  They don’t make it back to Dean’s apartment, but as it turns out, the backseat of the Impala is rather spacious.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Cas (5:43 pm): i had a stressful day at work_

_Cas (5:44 pm): i just wanna come home and hang you_

**Dean (5:47 pm): i’d really prefer it if you didn’t hang me**

**Dean (5:48 pm): sounds uncomfortable**

**Dean (5:48 pm): and kinda kinky**

**Dean (5:49 pm): actually i might be on board**

_Cas (5:52 pm): *bang_

**Dean (5:53 pm): no i’m reading it and you definitely said *hang***

**Dean (5:55 pm): there’s no way that Castiel Novak, king of correct spelling, would make a mistake like that**

_Cas (5:57 pm): … I’m sorry I’ll never make fun of your typing again_

**Dean (6:00 pm): just come home and hang bang me**

**Dean (6:03 pm): … pick up rope**

**Author's Note:**

> for once i included the bonus scene in the story proper instead of here :P
> 
> come visit me on [tumblr](http://jhoomwrites.tumblr.com)


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